My journey with the boys in Sunday service

I used to wake up on Sunday mornings, dreading the day ahead. At one time, I wished I could stay at home on Sundays, listening to online sermons. When the boys were little, infants and less than a year old, going to church with them was a breeze. The only worry I had was where and when to feed them. The moment they woke up from the peace and calmness which somehow enshrouded them from reality, as they usually sleep during church service, the nightmare began. The terrifying stage was when they were almost 2 to maybe up to 3 years old.

I went through a difficult time with Zech when he was 2. The tears I shed were much more as he was my first child and I didn't know it was so so tough. Feeling very disheartened and wondering what went wrong with my parenting, I tried all ways and means to keep him occupied during church service. When he was 2.5 years, I finally found the right activity to keep him quiet and still. His set of puzzles saved me.

Just when I thought I had found my personal time with God back on Sundays, Nathanael came along. It was all fine and peaceful when he was an infant.

 

Then came the day when he decided to assert his rights. He wriggled like a worm and struggled to get out of our arms so he could walk all over the sanctuary. One day, he even decided he didn't want to attend service with us anymore. Whenever I stepped into the sanctuary, he protested loudly. I almost wanted to give up. Once, while I was sitting in the sanctuary, feeling a sense of despair with a strong-willed toddler, I suddenly saw a flash of a 15 years old Nathanael sitting in the sanctuary with me, listening intently to God's Word. It's strange but true. Perhaps it was God's way of encouraging me not to give up.

Just a month ago, we were still struggling with Nathanael, the wriggly worm. Books couldn't keep him quiet because he would ask me too many questions loudly and if I didn't answer, he would repeat till I did. Then guess what? A set of puzzles saved me, again. However, this gave rise to another problem. We want the boys to worship together with us so they are not allowed to do anything during praise and worship time. Zech is perfectly cooperative but not Nathanael. He wanted to do his puzzles straight away. I knew if I allowed him, the activities would not be able to keep him occupied till sermon time. One Sunday, Nathanael was again restless. I carried him to the main entrance where I could still hear the pastor speaking. The pastor was speaking about how we could hold on for a while longer during difficult circumstances while waiting upon the Lord. That gave me hope.

Last month, God made a way for me. He led me to see how I could wake Nathanael up slightly earlier on Sundays so that he could take a short nap during announcement time, just before sermon time. It was a miracle for me! I will carry him outside the sanctuary and rock him gently. Like magic, Nathanael always falls asleep before sermon time. It's amazing how kids thrive on routine. Today I woke up late and thought Nathanael would not be able to take his nap. But he still did and even asked for his nap. After a 30 to 40 min nap, he usually wakes up refreshed and starts working on his puzzles. That allows us to listen to the rest of the sermon. We do struggle with Nathanael sometimes during praise and worship time but I noticed he's getting more attuned to it. He was, in fact, wonderful today.

For the past month since early October, God's Word has never been more crystal clear during service. Things can go wrong even when we do right. But I've truly experienced God's presence when things go wrong. Holding on for a while longer gave me hope which brought along peace. In all seasons and in all due time, God provides. Perseverance does get its reward.